The Art of the Fast Food Window

In order to not go insane when ordering your calorie loaded lunch from a speaking box and a window, here are some tips:

1. Be lucky - Getting the French Fries right out of the fryer is important.....I recommend eating them as an appetizer as you are traveling to your destination....otherwise, the heat produced and contained in the bag will deminish their crispiness.

2. Don't get tricky with cash - If your total comes to $7.00....don't pay with a 10 spot and 2 ones making it "easier" for the cashier to pay you back a 5 dollar bill.....it will confuse them...and that will lead to them getting thrown out of their routine, which will lead to your getting screwed.

3. Accept the mistake - If your order was lacking napkins, or had no ketchup included, or even got shorted a fry....accept it. This is the risk of the drive through....there is a kid at the window for a reason. Understand what I mean by this?

4. Check your order - I was thinking about not even including this as it should be common sense by now. If you don't check....I say that takes away all accountability for the correct food order....ie. read #3 again.

5. (Mini-Vans only) Don't Use the DAMN DRIVE THROUGH - Just because you felt the need to have kids doesn't mean everyone else should suffer. Go in to get your food....surely you can find a fast food place with a jungle gym.....after all....climbing around for a half hour might burn off some of the "oh so healthy" food you just ingested in them. Mini-Van's - you destroy the "Fast" in the Fast Food Lane.

6. No special orders - Pick the Fuckin Onion's off later.

7. Special Tip for all the times you've been screwed in the drive through - call up the joint just before you drive through...tell them you just got home and found out your order was missing a 'sandwich or fries.' Most likely they will tell you to mention someone's name next time you go through....Take that name and get your complimentary item.

8. Don't abuse #7. - I can justify an attempt at Fairness, but if you are scamming every time....just save yourself some time and go in and ask for a job.